hmmm...

oh my gosh
i feel like im locked in a cage
i havent left my house since sunday
im probably missing church tonight
first time in over a year
unless there is some kind of miracle the road opens up within an hour
oh God i hope so
im sad
i miss my friends and im worried about them
even if ive talked to them
im gonna cry
i need church
and i need my friends
this sucks

fire...

it hurts my head
it hurts to breathe
last time we had this was 4 years ago
fire scares me
im glad i love Jesus
i feel sick
ugh
hmmm...

todayyy... [2 poems: Love and Reaching]

oh my...
my day has been long and weird...
travis filmed my drama practice today...
haha funny skit...
my grandpa forgot about me so i wound up going home with Kevin...
anyway i had time to write 2 poems today so here they are...
they arent that good but oh well...

Love...
love never ending
an intimacy unfathomable
pure
this is true love
a Father's love
no one like you
eternal
You can't be replaced
You'r love compels me
unfailing
never ending
You are the Reason
the Reason i live
once numb
You broke the covering
my heart opened to You
to feel...
a new sense i forgot i had
embrace it
sometimes i wish for numb
no
the hurt is worth it
in the end i feel You
mask to the pain
healed
a real worth
i run to You
YOUR LOVE COMPELS ME

Reaching...
tangled in the mess
stress takes over
fighting to feep sanity
pray, pray, pray
pieces crumble
i'm trying
so hard...
can i do it?
i'm tired
i just want a break
linger in a fog
i just want You
time...
slipping away
im grasping to what i can attain
not enough
i need more
focus on what matters
Jesus...
all i need is You
take me away
here i find You
too soon do i lose it
i count the time
time until i can reach for You again
press harder now
my Peace
STOP...
i just want to stay here forever
reast in You'r arms...
please...
just a little longer

deeper...

[im not satisfied in shallow waters
im not satisfied in shallow waters
take me deeper
take me deeper]
poem inspired by Donnas worship...


im not satisfied in shallow waters
i thirst for Your presence
Your spirit fills this place
take me deeper to You
drown my death
drown my sin
drown the white noise of the world
i am free from sin
my cup runs over...
in grace
in love
in mercy
my shame is cast aside
i cry out to You
i want more
take me deeper still
immersed in the presence
the presence of a greater love
a greater purpose
You are what i live for
You are my answer
hope is found
covered from the inside out
i run
run into open arms
there i rest
lifted
alive
You always remain
i sink into eternity
everlasting joy

the Light...

depth beneath the shadows
darkness surrounds the space
chains bind the pieces
holding us to our death
look into the darkness
surrender your heart to love
Light...
the Light is getting brighter
once blinded eyes now see
joy fills the holes
He came into your death
He traded it for eternal life
chains begin to break
they fall to your feet
He fought with you through your fears
He pulled you into His arms
dry the tears
salvation...


[psalm 107:14]

i run...

i run to the goal
pressing on to success
one mistake
you watch me falter
i try to make you proud
maybe someday i will
im sorry
wont give up
i stand to my feet
wipe the dust from my knees
pray to my God
"Lord, help me..."
i rely on the King
the upward call beckons me
i reach for my purpose
grace keeps me going
i have yet to attain
but i press on
grasping to what Christ has laid hold for me
redemption is here


[phillippians 3:12]

renewed...

enter the room

drowned in fear

lies of the enemy

broken shatters scatter

fall to my knees

prayer for the emptiness

on me they lay their hands

a wave of a new feeling

it never gets old

never wasted

filled with the salt

the tears of someone

someone who loves

someone who cares

brokenness healed

bandages for the wounds

tears run dry from my face

i look into the face of the unwavering

the light shines from them

the light of what saves me

renewed, my wounds are healed

here...

here is the place
the place i fall
up to You
i press in as hard as i can
can i go deep enough?
i've spent my life searching
searching for an answer
at times You were in front of me
but i was blinded by selfish gain
finally my eyes were opened
i cried as i heard You'r still small voice
You said "I am here,
I love you,
I will carry you,
I am the Answer,
I am Life."
You are the Reason i live
the Reason i grasp to
You are my purpose
my destiny
You are my Answer
and i love You