I was just looking through my old notes from my college music class I took the summer after my first year of Interns.
As I was looking and remembering, all I could keep thinking was, why did I ever think I could be a music minor? Or even just be a college experienced Theory musician?
I remembered what hell that summer was. How burdensome that class was.
Then it hit me. I was never supposed to be a music minor or even take some class for it even if it were for fun. Or at least that time I wasn't for sure. I only took that class because I felt pressured to be in school. In "real college." Ha, I was doing it to please people. Maybe even in some twisted way, to fit in if I knew more about music so I could sound smart and prove myself.
I was going to be an English Major. I wanted to do creative writing.
Clearly, I love to write. Or maybe not as clear seeing as its hard to find time to even blog anymore.
Unless it is... 4:05am like now.
I even plan to write books someday.
But I was never meant to be an English Major.
I wondered why it always get so "off" to think of doing it.
I was meant to be in Bible College and get a degree.
I am doing it now and I still remember clearly the day God spoke to me to do it.
In my chaotic life, I do have my, "What the HECK am I doing?!" moments. But then i realize and they fleet away.
Sometimes I want to quit. But Im sure many others do as well. Especially when it gets tough.
Its not as easy as it is sometimes cracked up to be. Haha.
I still have the days where I wonder, "Who am i?"
And at this moment, at 4:09 am, I come to realize yet again, Im not the only one who thinks that.
Even the ones I admire or think the best of have those days, too.
I shouldn't be so hard on myself about it.
I know who I am. And even on the days I forget or I question it, God never does.
Why worry who you are? He'll work it out just fine. Just don't go trying to do it on your own.
Its pointless, really.
Life.
Cant lie. It makes me nervous.
I may not be going through the easiest time in life.
I have a lot of fears, a lot of doubts, a lot of confusion, and even a little pain.
I have a lot of new things coming up.
Big decisions. Big adventures.
But at least I know that through all of that, and all the failings of my flesh, God's power is working in my weaknesses. So therefore, I am strong. (2 Cor. 12:8-10)
I may not FEEL that, but most people don't see that, because they're only seeing Jesus.
And well, my Jesus, well He's the strongest Man I know.
I don't mean that to say that people don't see me fail or hurt.
I don't mean that my best friend can't read me like a book!
I don't mean that I don't cry when no one is looking. Ha, or even when its on the floor of that best friends bedroom.
I don't mean that I am invincible.
I don't mean that I don't have my bad days and the days I, to be honest, feel like complete crud.
I don't mean that I don't make mistakes or any of that.
And I don't mean that you are either,
I just mean, I am a part of something bigger.
Not just me but you too.
I mean that even the people that see all that, don't see me (or you) as a failure or weak, they see God doing something radical.
They see God doing something beautiful.
So, maybe I don't see that now. Maybe you don't. Heck, maybe they don't sometimes.
Oh, but we will.
Who really cares.
The House always wins anyway.
God will fix you up, make you shine with His glory, and set you out for everyone to see.
And as the people look at you or me, He'll shout, "Look! Look at my child! Isn't she (he) beautiful?! Just wait 'til you see what I got planned for her (him)! Look what I've enabled her (him) to do!"
He will be one proud Father!
He is proud of you now. And is telling everyone all of that now. And so much more.
And now, at 4:26am, it hit me again.
I'm not up late writing some blog post coming up with all these things to say.
But God's saying it to me. He is saying it to you.
He's just using me to jot it all down.
And I know that He's speaking it because, if He weren't, I wouldn't believe any of it!
I don't think I'm all that special. But He sure does.
He thinks you're pretty special, too. :)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Because of you...
Maybe it never felt quite right because you were so far away.
And now all I can imagine is how to make you work.
Hope for the day you step from there to here.
I wonder if the day I show up again if I'll still be the wonderful mystery you see through a screen.
Will that grin across your face and that adoration in your eye still silently tell me "I love you"?
I imagine the day I could fall into your arms.
Will they be as open as you say they are now.
Am I too far and are we too complicated that hesitation would win this war.
I'd fight because you're worth it.
My heart sinks thinking of you.
Do I make your heart sink too?
I'm waiting for the day I won't have to wonder anymore.
Hoping just maybe, you will be my end.
And now all I can imagine is how to make you work.
Hope for the day you step from there to here.
I wonder if the day I show up again if I'll still be the wonderful mystery you see through a screen.
Will that grin across your face and that adoration in your eye still silently tell me "I love you"?
I imagine the day I could fall into your arms.
Will they be as open as you say they are now.
Am I too far and are we too complicated that hesitation would win this war.
I'd fight because you're worth it.
My heart sinks thinking of you.
Do I make your heart sink too?
I'm waiting for the day I won't have to wonder anymore.
Hoping just maybe, you will be my end.
Monday, October 17, 2011
If I Left You Today... #JT
If I were to leave you today Id want you to know:
Id want you to know that I loved you enough.
Sorry if I said it too much.
Sorry if I hugged too much.
It was only so you'd know how sincere I was if this day had ever come too soon.
Id want to leave the impression behind thats stamped over my heart.
I know I was often quiet but I silently prayed all the bests for you.
My Bible was marked with all the things I wanted for you.
Id want to thank you for all the times we shared.
You made me who I am.
Id want to tell you how blessed I am to have you in my life.
If I were to leave you today Id plead you home.
Plead you to the arms of Jesus.
The only reason I made it alive.
He was and is my life.
Id tell you I loved YOU because He loved me.
If I left you today, Id say go ahead and read my journals.
The good, the bad. Maybe they'd be of good somewhere here or somewhere there.
I always thought of death but funny how when that friend you loved went away, life became that much more precious.
How quickly we fade.
How easily we forget.
To cherish every moment.
To hug once more.
To forgive.
To move forward.
To smile.
To share.
To never fear.
To give away those touch cards in the bottom of your purse or wedged in your wallet.
To stop running.
To keep listening.
To keep loving.
To say the words you thought.
To share the love you received.
To make the time for the ones you love.
Eternity is not waiting beyond us, it is there alongside us.
And one day, one we do not know, we step over into it.
To be with Jesus, the eternal promise.
To be here, to be like Him.
Take no moment for granted.
Take no person for granted.
If I left you today, I valued you.
I loved you.
In hopes you always knew.
In hopes my life affected yours.
In hopes you loved me, too.
Id want you to know that I loved you enough.
Sorry if I said it too much.
Sorry if I hugged too much.
It was only so you'd know how sincere I was if this day had ever come too soon.
Id want to leave the impression behind thats stamped over my heart.
I know I was often quiet but I silently prayed all the bests for you.
My Bible was marked with all the things I wanted for you.
Id want to thank you for all the times we shared.
You made me who I am.
Id want to tell you how blessed I am to have you in my life.
If I were to leave you today Id plead you home.
Plead you to the arms of Jesus.
The only reason I made it alive.
He was and is my life.
Id tell you I loved YOU because He loved me.
If I left you today, Id say go ahead and read my journals.
The good, the bad. Maybe they'd be of good somewhere here or somewhere there.
I always thought of death but funny how when that friend you loved went away, life became that much more precious.
How quickly we fade.
How easily we forget.
To cherish every moment.
To hug once more.
To forgive.
To move forward.
To smile.
To share.
To never fear.
To give away those touch cards in the bottom of your purse or wedged in your wallet.
To stop running.
To keep listening.
To keep loving.
To say the words you thought.
To share the love you received.
To make the time for the ones you love.
Eternity is not waiting beyond us, it is there alongside us.
And one day, one we do not know, we step over into it.
To be with Jesus, the eternal promise.
To be here, to be like Him.
Take no moment for granted.
Take no person for granted.
If I left you today, I valued you.
I loved you.
In hopes you always knew.
In hopes my life affected yours.
In hopes you loved me, too.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Hopes and Dreams, the things coming quickly
Inspired by my dear friend K.M. [[Nnoitra Jiruga]]
Hopes:
To see grace in grace abound
Bresolin
Dreams:
Compilation of poetic stories of the faces around me ((of you))
Healing flows and floods
Preaching in Portuguese
Coming quickly:
The Brazilian move
more to come.. :)
Hopes:
To see grace in grace abound
Bresolin
Dreams:
Compilation of poetic stories of the faces around me ((of you))
Healing flows and floods
Preaching in Portuguese
Coming quickly:
The Brazilian move
more to come.. :)
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
How can...?
How can my heart race in love, overwhelming happiness spreading across my face in a smile, and my same heart break all at once, turning my joyful grin into a painful frown of disappointment?...
How is it that I could tell you the world and yet I am beckoned into silence?
How is it that this is so hard?
Oceans apart yet it seems you are right beside me.
I cannot seem to grasp understanding on how this had begun and has slammed to an end...
Is this the end?
And if so, of what?
Imagining having me without you?... I dont want to think of.
Missing you is a beautiful tragedy..
How is it that I could tell you the world and yet I am beckoned into silence?
How is it that this is so hard?
Oceans apart yet it seems you are right beside me.
I cannot seem to grasp understanding on how this had begun and has slammed to an end...
Is this the end?
And if so, of what?
Imagining having me without you?... I dont want to think of.
Missing you is a beautiful tragedy..
Friday, July 29, 2011
To What I Can And Cannot Say
Looking around I cannot believe what has unfolded around me.
Nothing I ever expected.
In the good and not so comfortable.
I feel restless.
I have the fleeting thought of running away just for a little, but then, I remember the faces of the ones who have already ran.
And now, they're living their hell on earth.
Its sad. To see the broken pieces and cracks make up their bodies. And the glue they use to hold themselves together is nothing more than a lie.
It is useless. All the pieces slide away and the deformities of their actions are shining through. They cannot hide them.
Now, do not take my words in the wrong manner.
My heart breaks for them and I am in a fight for them all.
And as for me, I am not in some terrible season and I am not miserable.
Frustrated, maybe. But not BAD in the way most would often first suspect.
If anything the clarity breaks forth more and more as the days pass.
I am well grounded. Solid. I just have the ability to feel just like everyone else.
In the wake of so many decisions, the pressure is to be expected.
Worse, maybe, is not wondering what to do, but the follow through.
Fear of not being able enough. Not qualified enough. Failure.
Trust.
And talking about those things?... being misunderstood.
Here's to putting everything I can and cannot say into something that can and still cannot speak for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaEQIda0Tds
Nothing I ever expected.
In the good and not so comfortable.
I feel restless.
I have the fleeting thought of running away just for a little, but then, I remember the faces of the ones who have already ran.
And now, they're living their hell on earth.
Its sad. To see the broken pieces and cracks make up their bodies. And the glue they use to hold themselves together is nothing more than a lie.
It is useless. All the pieces slide away and the deformities of their actions are shining through. They cannot hide them.
Now, do not take my words in the wrong manner.
My heart breaks for them and I am in a fight for them all.
And as for me, I am not in some terrible season and I am not miserable.
Frustrated, maybe. But not BAD in the way most would often first suspect.
If anything the clarity breaks forth more and more as the days pass.
I am well grounded. Solid. I just have the ability to feel just like everyone else.
In the wake of so many decisions, the pressure is to be expected.
Worse, maybe, is not wondering what to do, but the follow through.
Fear of not being able enough. Not qualified enough. Failure.
Trust.
And talking about those things?... being misunderstood.
Here's to putting everything I can and cannot say into something that can and still cannot speak for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaEQIda0Tds
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Connected Pt.2: The Word
Colossians 2:18-20
New International Version (NIV)
18 Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you. Such a person also goes into great detail about what they have seen; they are puffed up with idle notions by their unspiritual mind. 19 They have lost connection with the head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.
20 Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:
-Connection [to the Head, God] brings: support, growth, belonging. When connected you now BELONG to the Kingdom and it's rules, standards. You are a part of the spiritual forces of heaven, of the Lord...
-You were crucified with Christ.
Galatians 2:19-21(NIV)
19 “For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. 20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 21 I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!”
The Message version for both passages:
Colossians 2:18-20
The Message (MSG)
18-19Don't tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape, insisting that you join their obsession with angels and that you seek out visions. They're a lot of hot air, that's all they are. They're completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes us.
20-23So, then, if with Christ you've put all that pretentious and infantile religion behind you, why do you let yourselves be bullied by it?
Galatians 2:19-21
The Message (MSG)
19-21What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.
Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.
Romans 12
New International Version (NIV)
A Living Sacrifice
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Humble Service in the Body of Christ
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Love in Action
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
In the Message:
Romans 12
The Message (MSG)
Place Your Life Before God
1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
3I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.
6-8If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.
9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.
17-19Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."
20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.
I absolutely LOVE Romans 12 and especially how the Message puts it.
-Connection [to God, the Head, and the Body, the church] brings function, love, unity, meaning, wholeness, function, identity, purpose. WELL FORMED MATURITY.
Next is a prayer Jesus prayers for His disciples and all believers:
John 17 NIV
Jesus Prays for His Disciples
6 “I have revealed you[a] to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. 7 Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. 8 For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. 9 I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10 All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. 11 I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of[b] your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. 12 While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by[c] that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.
13 “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by[d] the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
Jesus Prays for All Believers
20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
24 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.
25 “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26 I have made you[e] known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”
I bolded the connecting areas in this prayer that represent unity. To be one. To be as one as the Father and the Son are one. That we may share in it. Unity in the body bring unity with God as unity with God bring unity in the Body. It is important. Naturally and Spiritually. They cannot be divided.
Again, this prayer in the Message version:
John 17:6-26
6-12I spelled out your character in detail
To the men and women you gave me.
They were yours in the first place;
Then you gave them to me,
And they have now done what you said.
They know now, beyond the shadow of a doubt,
That everything you gave me is firsthand from you,
For the message you gave me, I gave them;
And they took it, and were convinced
That I came from you.
They believed that you sent me.
I pray for them.
I'm not praying for the God-rejecting world
But for those you gave me,
For they are yours by right.
Everything mine is yours, and yours mine,
And my life is on display in them.
For I'm no longer going to be visible in the world;
They'll continue in the world
While I return to you.
Holy Father, guard them as they pursue this life
That you conferred as a gift through me,
So they can be one heart and mind
As we are one heart and mind.
As long as I was with them, I guarded them
In the pursuit of the life you gave through me;
I even posted a night watch.
And not one of them got away,
Except for the rebel bent on destruction
(the exception that proved the rule of Scripture).
13-19Now I'm returning to you.
I'm saying these things in the world's hearing
So my people can experience
My joy completed in them.
I gave them your word;
The godless world hated them because of it,
Because they didn't join the world's ways,
Just as I didn't join the world's ways.
I'm not asking that you take them out of the world
But that you guard them from the Evil One.
They are no more defined by the world
Than I am defined by the world.
Make them holy—consecrated—with the truth;
Your word is consecrating truth.
In the same way that you gave me a mission in the world,
I give them a mission in the world.
I'm consecrating myself for their sakes
So they'll be truth-consecrated in their mission.
20-23I'm praying not only for them
But also for those who will believe in me
Because of them and their witness about me.
The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind— Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you,
So they might be one heart and mind with us.
Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me.
The same glory you gave me, I gave them,
So they'll be as unified and together as we are—
I in them and you in me.
Then they'll be mature in this oneness,
And give the godless world evidence
That you've sent me and loved them
In the same way you've loved me.
24-26Father, I want those you gave me
To be with me, right where I am,
So they can see my glory, the splendor you gave me,
Having loved me
Long before there ever was a world.
Righteous Father, the world has never known you,
But I have known you, and these disciples know
That you sent me on this mission.
I have made your very being known to them—
Who you are and what you do—
And continue to make it known,
So that your love for me
Might be in them
Exactly as I am in them.
Some more references to unity and the Body of Christ:
Psalm 133 {NIV}
1 How good and pleasant it is
when God’s people live together in unity!
2 It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron’s beard,
down on the collar of his robe.
3 It is as if the dew of Hermon
were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the LORD bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore.
1 Corinthians 12:11-13(NIV)
11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.
12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[a] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
Ephesians 1:9-11(NIV)
9 he[a] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.
11 In him we were also chosen,[b] having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,
Ephesians 4:2-4(NIV)
2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called;
Ephesians 4:12-14(NIV)
12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.
Being connected...
Its of high value.
Relationship is dependent on it.
Deep relationship.
Deep-spirited friendships.
Philippians 2:1 {The Message}
[ He Took on the Status of a Slave ] If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.
New International Version (NIV)
18 Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you. Such a person also goes into great detail about what they have seen; they are puffed up with idle notions by their unspiritual mind. 19 They have lost connection with the head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.
20 Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules:
-Connection [to the Head, God] brings: support, growth, belonging. When connected you now BELONG to the Kingdom and it's rules, standards. You are a part of the spiritual forces of heaven, of the Lord...
-You were crucified with Christ.
Galatians 2:19-21(NIV)
19 “For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. 20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 21 I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!”
The Message version for both passages:
Colossians 2:18-20
The Message (MSG)
18-19Don't tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape, insisting that you join their obsession with angels and that you seek out visions. They're a lot of hot air, that's all they are. They're completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes us.
20-23So, then, if with Christ you've put all that pretentious and infantile religion behind you, why do you let yourselves be bullied by it?
Galatians 2:19-21
The Message (MSG)
19-21What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.
Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.
Romans 12
New International Version (NIV)
A Living Sacrifice
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Humble Service in the Body of Christ
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. 4 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your[a] faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Love in Action
9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
In the Message:
Romans 12
The Message (MSG)
Place Your Life Before God
1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
3I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.
6-8If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.
9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.
17-19Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."
20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.
I absolutely LOVE Romans 12 and especially how the Message puts it.
-Connection [to God, the Head, and the Body, the church] brings function, love, unity, meaning, wholeness, function, identity, purpose. WELL FORMED MATURITY.
Next is a prayer Jesus prayers for His disciples and all believers:
John 17 NIV
Jesus Prays for His Disciples
6 “I have revealed you[a] to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. 7 Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. 8 For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. 9 I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. 10 All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. 11 I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of[b] your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. 12 While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by[c] that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.
13 “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17 Sanctify them by[d] the truth; your word is truth. 18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
Jesus Prays for All Believers
20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
24 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.
25 “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26 I have made you[e] known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”
I bolded the connecting areas in this prayer that represent unity. To be one. To be as one as the Father and the Son are one. That we may share in it. Unity in the body bring unity with God as unity with God bring unity in the Body. It is important. Naturally and Spiritually. They cannot be divided.
Again, this prayer in the Message version:
John 17:6-26
6-12I spelled out your character in detail
To the men and women you gave me.
They were yours in the first place;
Then you gave them to me,
And they have now done what you said.
They know now, beyond the shadow of a doubt,
That everything you gave me is firsthand from you,
For the message you gave me, I gave them;
And they took it, and were convinced
That I came from you.
They believed that you sent me.
I pray for them.
I'm not praying for the God-rejecting world
But for those you gave me,
For they are yours by right.
Everything mine is yours, and yours mine,
And my life is on display in them.
For I'm no longer going to be visible in the world;
They'll continue in the world
While I return to you.
Holy Father, guard them as they pursue this life
That you conferred as a gift through me,
So they can be one heart and mind
As we are one heart and mind.
As long as I was with them, I guarded them
In the pursuit of the life you gave through me;
I even posted a night watch.
And not one of them got away,
Except for the rebel bent on destruction
(the exception that proved the rule of Scripture).
13-19Now I'm returning to you.
I'm saying these things in the world's hearing
So my people can experience
My joy completed in them.
I gave them your word;
The godless world hated them because of it,
Because they didn't join the world's ways,
Just as I didn't join the world's ways.
I'm not asking that you take them out of the world
But that you guard them from the Evil One.
They are no more defined by the world
Than I am defined by the world.
Make them holy—consecrated—with the truth;
Your word is consecrating truth.
In the same way that you gave me a mission in the world,
I give them a mission in the world.
I'm consecrating myself for their sakes
So they'll be truth-consecrated in their mission.
20-23I'm praying not only for them
But also for those who will believe in me
Because of them and their witness about me.
The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind— Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you,
So they might be one heart and mind with us.
Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me.
The same glory you gave me, I gave them,
So they'll be as unified and together as we are—
I in them and you in me.
Then they'll be mature in this oneness,
And give the godless world evidence
That you've sent me and loved them
In the same way you've loved me.
24-26Father, I want those you gave me
To be with me, right where I am,
So they can see my glory, the splendor you gave me,
Having loved me
Long before there ever was a world.
Righteous Father, the world has never known you,
But I have known you, and these disciples know
That you sent me on this mission.
I have made your very being known to them—
Who you are and what you do—
And continue to make it known,
So that your love for me
Might be in them
Exactly as I am in them.
Some more references to unity and the Body of Christ:
Psalm 133 {NIV}
1 How good and pleasant it is
when God’s people live together in unity!
2 It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron’s beard,
down on the collar of his robe.
3 It is as if the dew of Hermon
were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the LORD bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore.
1 Corinthians 12:11-13(NIV)
11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.
12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[a] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
Ephesians 1:9-11(NIV)
9 he[a] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.
11 In him we were also chosen,[b] having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,
Ephesians 4:2-4(NIV)
2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called;
Ephesians 4:12-14(NIV)
12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.
Being connected...
Its of high value.
Relationship is dependent on it.
Deep relationship.
Deep-spirited friendships.
Philippians 2:1 {The Message}
[ He Took on the Status of a Slave ] If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.
Connected Pt.1: Questions
Connected:
–adjective
1. united, joined, or linked.
2. having a connection.
3. joined together in sequence; linked coherently: connected ideas.
Connection:
–noun
1. the act or state of connecting.
2. the state of being connected: 3. anything that connects; connecting part; link; bond:
Connect:
–verb (used with object)
1. to join, link, or fasten together; unite or bind:2. to establish communication between; put in communication: 3. to have as an accompanying or associated feature:
4. to cause to be associated, as in a personal or business relationship: to connect oneself with a group of like-minded persons; 5. to associate mentally or emotionally: She connects all telegrams with bad news.
Pondering on the thought of being connected. Of being fastened together. What does it really mean?
So many questions arising out of one statement.
People. What is the difference of being WITH someone. Being in a room full of people. Being a friend. Associate. Aquaintance. And being CONNECTED with a person?
How do you know when you're connected?
How is a connection still bonded even when there is not some detrimental issue going on in someones life where you talk it out and then you have this "connection"?
What IS that?
When is it beyond that?
I cannot even write out every little thought streaming through my mind that would make complete sense or get across my point or questions.
For records sake, in an attempt for any persons reading this not to twist what I am meaning to say in all this, this is not a reflection of my doubt in people. This is not portraying me having a distance between people. Nothing of the sort. It is simply something the Holy Spirit has laid on my heart to open up and discover on a new level. Bridging the gap of the natural and the spiritual. I am simply curious to learn on a deeper level the Body of Christ. For better understanding and knowledge. And in order to keep my thoughts somewhat organized, I write it. Thats what I do. Then maybe throw in some perspective for someone following my blog. Kinda the point. This is only the beginning so I dont lose track. Ha.
–adjective
1. united, joined, or linked.
2. having a connection.
3. joined together in sequence; linked coherently: connected ideas.
Connection:
–noun
1. the act or state of connecting.
2. the state of being connected: 3. anything that connects; connecting part; link; bond:
Connect:
–verb (used with object)
1. to join, link, or fasten together; unite or bind:2. to establish communication between; put in communication: 3. to have as an accompanying or associated feature:
4. to cause to be associated, as in a personal or business relationship: to connect oneself with a group of like-minded persons; 5. to associate mentally or emotionally: She connects all telegrams with bad news.
Pondering on the thought of being connected. Of being fastened together. What does it really mean?
So many questions arising out of one statement.
People. What is the difference of being WITH someone. Being in a room full of people. Being a friend. Associate. Aquaintance. And being CONNECTED with a person?
How do you know when you're connected?
How is a connection still bonded even when there is not some detrimental issue going on in someones life where you talk it out and then you have this "connection"?
What IS that?
When is it beyond that?
I cannot even write out every little thought streaming through my mind that would make complete sense or get across my point or questions.
For records sake, in an attempt for any persons reading this not to twist what I am meaning to say in all this, this is not a reflection of my doubt in people. This is not portraying me having a distance between people. Nothing of the sort. It is simply something the Holy Spirit has laid on my heart to open up and discover on a new level. Bridging the gap of the natural and the spiritual. I am simply curious to learn on a deeper level the Body of Christ. For better understanding and knowledge. And in order to keep my thoughts somewhat organized, I write it. Thats what I do. Then maybe throw in some perspective for someone following my blog. Kinda the point. This is only the beginning so I dont lose track. Ha.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Brazil and Interns. Oh my!
In less than 24 hours I will be flying to Brazil to minister to hundreds.
To preach at a youth camp. Bring the light of Jesus to a city.
As much as I know God has made me capable of, I could not be more nervous.
But I am expecting the miraculous. To see the hand of God stretch to thousands.
To see healing take place before my eyes.
That I know is possible. And so far beyond.
I am excited to not only see how God uses me and my gifts, but the gifts of my friends.
Crazy to think that after this trip is spring break which will be spent hiking mountains, walking the beach, and catching up on all the homework I have not done this year haha and then one very fast month until graduation and moving onto a very new slightly scary chapter of my life.
A summer of adventures, working, and preparing.
Then, my first semester at Berean Bible College. Luckily, I will be accompanied by my dear Nicole Chandler<3
So stoked that after a 2 year internship together that we will continue side by side at Berean as well.
Im excited to see my BEST friend venture into the future Ive seen for her for so long and beyond even what I can see. To see her flourish in work, ministry, and school at Regent. So proud. Can not wait to support her all the way through.
Im excited to see Megan and Kyla begin their journey into Media and music and justice. Im ready to see the people that are like my family be who God has called them to be.
Interns has radically shaped and prepared us for so much. So thankful. I can so wonderfully see how God has ordained every person in my life these past 2 years and seen the hand of God place the exact right people in interns at the right time.
I love all of these people so much. With ALL of my heart. I love my teachers, pastors, mentors.
How amazing is my God that He has ordained everything so perfectly. That I, so undeserving, am the woman I am today, doing all that I do. Having the dream and the future that I have. To have the amazing friends that I have. THEY are unmatched.
Interns, I love you all so much. And I know the amazing futures He has for all of you.
Thanks for being my family<3
Thank you GOD for all youve brought me through and to. To a place of abundance and blessing. That youve gifted me in so many ways that I know Ive just began to see. And please please please help me preach and step out in Brazil haha nervous.
Amen.
Ha, I have so much more to say BUT I have to pack and have way too much on my mind. Blog again when I am home from BRAZIL!
Peace and Im out! :D
To preach at a youth camp. Bring the light of Jesus to a city.
As much as I know God has made me capable of, I could not be more nervous.
But I am expecting the miraculous. To see the hand of God stretch to thousands.
To see healing take place before my eyes.
That I know is possible. And so far beyond.
I am excited to not only see how God uses me and my gifts, but the gifts of my friends.
Crazy to think that after this trip is spring break which will be spent hiking mountains, walking the beach, and catching up on all the homework I have not done this year haha and then one very fast month until graduation and moving onto a very new slightly scary chapter of my life.
A summer of adventures, working, and preparing.
Then, my first semester at Berean Bible College. Luckily, I will be accompanied by my dear Nicole Chandler<3
So stoked that after a 2 year internship together that we will continue side by side at Berean as well.
Im excited to see my BEST friend venture into the future Ive seen for her for so long and beyond even what I can see. To see her flourish in work, ministry, and school at Regent. So proud. Can not wait to support her all the way through.
Im excited to see Megan and Kyla begin their journey into Media and music and justice. Im ready to see the people that are like my family be who God has called them to be.
Interns has radically shaped and prepared us for so much. So thankful. I can so wonderfully see how God has ordained every person in my life these past 2 years and seen the hand of God place the exact right people in interns at the right time.
I love all of these people so much. With ALL of my heart. I love my teachers, pastors, mentors.
How amazing is my God that He has ordained everything so perfectly. That I, so undeserving, am the woman I am today, doing all that I do. Having the dream and the future that I have. To have the amazing friends that I have. THEY are unmatched.
Interns, I love you all so much. And I know the amazing futures He has for all of you.
Thanks for being my family<3
Thank you GOD for all youve brought me through and to. To a place of abundance and blessing. That youve gifted me in so many ways that I know Ive just began to see. And please please please help me preach and step out in Brazil haha nervous.
Amen.
Ha, I have so much more to say BUT I have to pack and have way too much on my mind. Blog again when I am home from BRAZIL!
Peace and Im out! :D
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
OH GLORY!!!
At last... I feel the warmth of Light again.
Walked into my regular coffee shop Im so accustomed to, comfortable in, known well and for the first time in a while, my friend looks at me and says, "You look joyful today. Refreshed. Comfortable."
Wow! That is a nice thing to hear when for a long time all Ive heard is "Are you ok?", "Im so burdened for you."
Although all the 'prayer' was appreciated and still is its nice to be seen as 'joyful'.
Thats not really descriptive word for me. At least not when I look at myself.
Looking across this coffee shop I see the one person I fear saying goodbye to the most.
Friendly reminder to keep hoping.
If it werent for this boy I may have lost myself in my own head.
So thankful for the ones that talk you through the madness.
I was doing some reading today.
The book is called Experiencing the Holy Spirit.
We're going over it in Pastor Emilie's Holy Spirit class.
I read,
"He who raised up the dead Jesus to the life of glory will just as miraculously bring this heavenly fruition in you."
Then, it hit me.
The Father, who took the deadness of Jesus in addition to all of our sin and filth - our own death, and brought Him to a glorious victory that has transcended humanity to the core, can produce THAT SAME FRUITFULNESS in me!
That same resurrectionin me.
Even when I feel lost and forsaken, the power in me is still at work and well able to perform that which my Father has longed to perform all along.
No, I cannot do that alone by any means but it is possible.
I began to feel a flame of hope flicker again in me.
I feel comfort, indeed.
Than later I read,
"Likewise, the Lord Jesus, who is exalted high in heaven, penetrates my whole nature by His spirit until all my willing, thinking, and feeling are moved by Him."
Wow! How profound!
Just as the sun brings life to the earth, the Spirit of God warms me and brings me life!
I yearn for the Spirit of God to bring things to life in me.
To see all of His promises fulfilled.
I want my life after interns to be more fruitful and more blessed.
To go from glory to glory to glory.
To see my whole group in that same fruitfulness, blessing, and FAITHFULNESS!
Its been a hard yet glorious two years and I do not want to see that go to waste in any of us.
I want to be an example and leader in my classes at Berean Bible College in the fall and so on. I want to lead the way and bring more wisdom and revelation to the other students.
I want to be a blessing to my teacher. I want to bring perspective. I want the spirit of interns and how we do things to effect everyone around me.
That they would seek after God and wisdom and knowledge like we've been taught. I want to exceed previous students and set a new standard in the Bible College.
I want to see what Ive learned from Pastor Steve and his spirit be on me and more so. That they would see and know.
I want to walk in and be lead by the Spirit like Pastor Emilie.
I want to be better equipped than I am even now. I want to learn so much more.
I want to be even more faithful, alert in the Spirit, more receptive to what God wants to speak to me.
I want to be ready to step into the ministry God has for me.
I want to grow in my gift of healing, prophecy, and wisdom. To have word of knowledge. I want the Spirit of God to be seen on me.
I want to be effective in prayer. I want to be able to see things in others to learn from, to minister to, to bring affirmation to.
I want to be all that God really wants me to be.
Holding nothing back.
Yes :)
Walked into my regular coffee shop Im so accustomed to, comfortable in, known well and for the first time in a while, my friend looks at me and says, "You look joyful today. Refreshed. Comfortable."
Wow! That is a nice thing to hear when for a long time all Ive heard is "Are you ok?", "Im so burdened for you."
Although all the 'prayer' was appreciated and still is its nice to be seen as 'joyful'.
Thats not really descriptive word for me. At least not when I look at myself.
Looking across this coffee shop I see the one person I fear saying goodbye to the most.
Friendly reminder to keep hoping.
If it werent for this boy I may have lost myself in my own head.
So thankful for the ones that talk you through the madness.
I was doing some reading today.
The book is called Experiencing the Holy Spirit.
We're going over it in Pastor Emilie's Holy Spirit class.
I read,
"He who raised up the dead Jesus to the life of glory will just as miraculously bring this heavenly fruition in you."
Then, it hit me.
The Father, who took the deadness of Jesus in addition to all of our sin and filth - our own death, and brought Him to a glorious victory that has transcended humanity to the core, can produce THAT SAME FRUITFULNESS in me!
That same resurrectionin me.
Even when I feel lost and forsaken, the power in me is still at work and well able to perform that which my Father has longed to perform all along.
No, I cannot do that alone by any means but it is possible.
I began to feel a flame of hope flicker again in me.
I feel comfort, indeed.
Than later I read,
"Likewise, the Lord Jesus, who is exalted high in heaven, penetrates my whole nature by His spirit until all my willing, thinking, and feeling are moved by Him."
Wow! How profound!
Just as the sun brings life to the earth, the Spirit of God warms me and brings me life!
I yearn for the Spirit of God to bring things to life in me.
To see all of His promises fulfilled.
I want my life after interns to be more fruitful and more blessed.
To go from glory to glory to glory.
To see my whole group in that same fruitfulness, blessing, and FAITHFULNESS!
Its been a hard yet glorious two years and I do not want to see that go to waste in any of us.
I want to be an example and leader in my classes at Berean Bible College in the fall and so on. I want to lead the way and bring more wisdom and revelation to the other students.
I want to be a blessing to my teacher. I want to bring perspective. I want the spirit of interns and how we do things to effect everyone around me.
That they would seek after God and wisdom and knowledge like we've been taught. I want to exceed previous students and set a new standard in the Bible College.
I want to see what Ive learned from Pastor Steve and his spirit be on me and more so. That they would see and know.
I want to walk in and be lead by the Spirit like Pastor Emilie.
I want to be better equipped than I am even now. I want to learn so much more.
I want to be even more faithful, alert in the Spirit, more receptive to what God wants to speak to me.
I want to be ready to step into the ministry God has for me.
I want to grow in my gift of healing, prophecy, and wisdom. To have word of knowledge. I want the Spirit of God to be seen on me.
I want to be effective in prayer. I want to be able to see things in others to learn from, to minister to, to bring affirmation to.
I want to be all that God really wants me to be.
Holding nothing back.
Yes :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Simply This...
Its simply this, we are in war
Darkness is chasing me and I fight to hold onto hope
The more I speak of the chains and the depressive state thats tried to overcome me I feel the grip loosen
Its the power of the living Word
This love, even when I am unaware of its presence, sustains my life
The grip of death has no power over me
Even when the sting of loneliness whispers lies at my life. I am not forsaken
Come to my rescue my Prince of Peace
Hold me when I am afraid
When all I wannna do is run away, let Your arms swing wide for me
You fight for me when all my fight has left
Reminded I am simply human all my weakness surfaces and Your strength takes over
I am matured when You allow the emptiness to be felt
Only by this experience can I be strengthened to make it in my future
Answer me Oh God
Save me. Love me again and let me feel my heart warmed once again
Let Your healing be known and touch those whose names have left my lips
No matter what I FEEL I will not give up
Youre all I have, need, want...
Ive always been aware of what I had. Always had a special care for those I loved that God brought into my life. But when its lost, the appreciation only grows. The pain I feel is only heightened when I see one I love and care for in pain. I miss one of my best friends and wish her circumstance was not hers to carry. God bring healing and restoration. I fear having to say goodbye to another. I cannot imagine going years without him in my life. I can only imagine my last moments as Id be forced to say goodbye. Could he know what he means to me? Could 'I love you' suffice? Even a letter of all I could manage to pour out? God please dont let him leave. Im afraid of losing you, friend.
Ive been faced with many scares. And although I know I can survive them, I dont want them. I dont want to have to SURVIVE. Yet in all this, I will still confess, God is good.
Darkness is chasing me and I fight to hold onto hope
The more I speak of the chains and the depressive state thats tried to overcome me I feel the grip loosen
Its the power of the living Word
This love, even when I am unaware of its presence, sustains my life
The grip of death has no power over me
Even when the sting of loneliness whispers lies at my life. I am not forsaken
Come to my rescue my Prince of Peace
Hold me when I am afraid
When all I wannna do is run away, let Your arms swing wide for me
You fight for me when all my fight has left
Reminded I am simply human all my weakness surfaces and Your strength takes over
I am matured when You allow the emptiness to be felt
Only by this experience can I be strengthened to make it in my future
Answer me Oh God
Save me. Love me again and let me feel my heart warmed once again
Let Your healing be known and touch those whose names have left my lips
No matter what I FEEL I will not give up
Youre all I have, need, want...
Ive always been aware of what I had. Always had a special care for those I loved that God brought into my life. But when its lost, the appreciation only grows. The pain I feel is only heightened when I see one I love and care for in pain. I miss one of my best friends and wish her circumstance was not hers to carry. God bring healing and restoration. I fear having to say goodbye to another. I cannot imagine going years without him in my life. I can only imagine my last moments as Id be forced to say goodbye. Could he know what he means to me? Could 'I love you' suffice? Even a letter of all I could manage to pour out? God please dont let him leave. Im afraid of losing you, friend.
Ive been faced with many scares. And although I know I can survive them, I dont want them. I dont want to have to SURVIVE. Yet in all this, I will still confess, God is good.
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