Sorry...

i havent had much time to blog lately.
sorry. ill get back to it soon enough.
for now, some song lyrics of a song i like lol

"Millstone" -Brand New

I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being cared for.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to sleep without a single stir,
'Cause I was about my father's work.

Well take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck,
Be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

I used to pray like God was listening.
I used to make my parents proud.
I was the glue that kept my friends together,
Now they don't talk and we don't go out.

I used to know the name of every person I'd kissed.
Now I made this bed and I can't fall asleep in it.

Well take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck,
Be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

Throw me that lifeline,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck
Be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

Never hit the brakes
there's no time to save him,
He just ran out in the street
anybody know his name?
I think I recognize him
Sure as hell paid for that mistake

Woah.

So take me out tonight.
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck.
Be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

To save my life tonight.
This ship of fools I'm on will sink
A millstone around my neck
Be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

what?

i had my birthday party. it was fun. but its weird how the littlest things are the ones that made it special.
for one, nick wrote me the sweetest card in the world. i almost cried. hes such a good brother
and two, i saw my best friend. its funny because i see her all of the time but i cherish every moment im with her. i really value her in my life and am so thankful to God for her.
sadly, sadie didnt stay with me long... poo.
and tonight made me realize, i have such great friends.
theyre such a huge part of my life and i love them so much.

i feel so different. i feel something in me changing. i dont know what it is.
its like im seeing through different eyes and feeling things all differently.
i feel like i just want to run down the street screaming or fall to my knees and cry.
and im not even sure all the reasons why i want to. i just do.

i want more of God.
i want stronger relationships with friends.
i want to do something new.
i want to just jump.

what is this i feel stirring inside me?!
i hate not knowing!

one thing i want, is to talk to my best friend. really talk.
i want my Gracey...
i want to hug her and talk to her and cry on her and do something crazy with her.
i hope i get to be with her tomorrow.
i wanna go to the gym then hangout all day and talk and just be. than watch one tree hill.

what is wrong with me right now?
i just wanna.... vbefjbvelfvoefboebv

My Everything...

i am living in a dream
a dream where i have the choice of how it ends
i see the crossroad
i choose my road
have faith in me
im half dead
what of me is dead?
i am dead to myself
i cant always stay the same
and now a new fish has hooked to me
i cant see it all
i cant see where its going or what is coming
but life is like a cliff
you jump into it and take it as it comes

ive opened my eyes to yet another day and whats staring back at me is not what was yesterday

i taste the dirt on my lips
i push myself up off the ground
dust the dirt from my knees
i look down at my bleeding hands
looking through the holes that pierced them
all at once i realize, i am crucified with Christ
just as His scars mark His hands, they mark mine also
we are the body and we're in this together

and now i realize im not alone?
no, i knew i wasnt alone
that my Father was always here, holding my hand to guide me, carrying me when im struggling, comforting me when im lost, showing me light while in the dark
but now my realization of not being alone has only gone higher
a new level of security

ive come to declare i am His mighty warrior
running with the gifts Hes freely poured out on me
doing the responsibilities Hes entrusted me with

God is my Strong Tower
the arms i hold so closely
the heart that beats in me
all that i am IS God
i am His daughter and i am blessed
i can do anything for He has made it possible for me
my voice is speaking of Him and for Him
my hands are reaching towards Him
and no matter how far i reach itd never be enough
i can never be satisfied but only become hungry for more and more
and i know the more i hunger and thirst and beg for more He will give it to me
because i asked and just because, He loves me
my God loves me more than anything
more than any friend or relative
than any thing in this world

i touch You
but one touch would never be enough
i would hold onto You forever
i never want to let go
let go of my Love
my Father
my Peace
my Hope
my Salvation
my Redemption
my Truth
my Strength
my Joy
my Everything.

i am so in love with You...