[[Mark 15]]...

As of lately, I find that when I go to read my Bible, I will read one or two chapters and God will somehow illuminate some crazy sort of revelation out of it.
Then I scribble it down feverishly and sit back totally awed, unable to even digest reading another chapter.

Today, I opened my Bible to Mark 15.
I was a little uneasy in the beginning because I realized this chapter takes place right after Jesus was handed over to be killed.
Honestly, I was hoping for something a little "happier" and encouraging.
Then halfway through, it happened again.
I fell head first into a passage that should really be one that breaks my heart with conviction.
And instead, I could only see the heartbreak of God for the hardship we go through.
And I saw how much we related to Jesus.

Starting in verse 15 and going through verse 20, it reads this:

"So Pilate, wanting to gratify the crowd, released Barrabas to them; and he delivered Jesus, after he had scourged Him, to be crucified.
Then the soldiers led Him away into the hall called Praetorium, and they called together the whole garrison.
And they clothed Him with purple; and they twisted a crown of thorns, put it on His head, and began to salute Him, "Hail, King of the Jews!"
Then they struck Him on the head with a reed and spat on Him; and bowing the knee, they worshipped Him.
And when they had mocked HIm, they took the purple off Him, put His own clothes on Him, and led Him out to crucify Him."

Here is Jesus. Perfect. A good man. The Son of God.
Pilate had the power to free Him, yet he still handed Him over to His death.
Why?  To gratify the crowd.
When they took Him, they clothed Him in purple - the color of royalty. Authority.
After they had mocked Him and trampled on every thing that He is, they removed the purple clothing, put His old clothes back on Him, and took Him away to His crucifixion.

As Christians, we are now crucified with Christ and part of Him. (Galatians 2:19-21)
We have taken His life and His standards within ourselves.
And I was struck with thought that too often we hand over the Jesus in us simply to please the crowd.
Like Jesus, we are mocked and face resistance from not just others but from within ourselves.
Jesus has clothed us with Himself - His authority, His value, and His worth.
We have all we need.
Yet life tries to remove our purple clothing, dress us in our old life and all that we have been set free from, and send us to our death.

Do we realize who we are?
Who Jesus has made a way for us to be?
Am I ever throwing away the gift of Jesus because the crowd or even myself tries to clothe me with things that no longer define me?
Do I hide those feelings of defeat or the storms that I face because I fear no one will understand the struggle I am facing?
But I find comfort in the fact of knowing yet again, that if anyone ever knew what I was feeling or thinking, no one could understand me more than Jesus could.
And even through His battle, in the end, He walked in victory.
Because He persevered and won the ultimate storm to face in life, it is no question that we have, too.

Kayli "M" G... Brave...

I think it is about (perfect) time that I be writing this of her...


Every year, our church [[ http://c3sandiego.com/ ]] hosts a women's conference called Cherish.
The theme for this years Cherish conference is BRAVE and Kayli was chosen as the face of it.
I realize now that it is no coincidence.

From the moment I came to C3, I knew this woman was something, someone.
Someone not to be taken lightly.
The more I am around her, the more I realize just how right I was.

I had the honor and privilege to spend some quality one on one time with her yesterday evening.
If there is one thing I learned in that short time, it's that Kayli truly is the very essence of the word "brave".
She is confident, classy, strong, and poised.
Everything in her radiates a refined beauty.

This woman, she is going to change this city. This world.
And in this, she is more capable than she knows.
I am anxiously awaiting to know her even deeper than I do now.
And I have the amazing privilege to call her "friend".

A mouthpiece with a message.
I get both the chills and giddy with excitement when I think of how her message will influence millions.
Her very life screams victory.
Yet in all this, humility.
She is a well of deep understanding.
And there is a depth in that well that she has yet to tap into.
But when she does, that life will flood to anywhere that her foot, her voice, her message touches.
She has both the ability of a fierce fight and a gentle touch.
The combination of the two will be unstoppable.
What a profound woman of God she is.
Of more worth and more value than she can grasp or comprehend.
Apart from her gifts, her personality, and her asset to her sphere of influence - there is her value.
I see it so much.
She is far from the ordinary.
So much more than skin deep or outspoken charisma.
That is the woman that I admire and believe in passionately.
Her own passion inspires me.

Be  b r a v e , Kayli.

All that God is working within you will define what will happen around you, in due time.
Don't be afraid, God knows exactly what He is doing.
He knows what to give to you and what to remove from you. Let Him.

"No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and of good courage. for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success."
Joshua 1:5-8

                                   

Life. Legacy...

Your future is being shaped right now.
Everything you do, you say, you think - it is all a set up for who you will become.
Every choice matters.

Who will they say you are? Who I am?

Life  creates  L E G A C Y.

I want my life to leave a legacy that is felt.
You never really know the measure of a person until their death.
Their death brings relief to others or an unpleasantness to say goodbye.

What will they say?
What will they speak of me?
What would they speak of me now?


It is my constant aim to be a delight and benefit to those in my world.
My life is to be life to others.
My love overflows.

Lord, never let my perspective falter, but only perfect my vision.
Let my life be love and the love of Your Son.
May my life make You real to the questioners. The down and out-ers. The hurt. The deceived. And even the found, that they would never forget who they are in You.

Filter my life through Yourself.
Let my personal world be marked and built by Your hands.
Let Your blood flow through every season and decision and action.
Let my legacy be You.
Help me to live Jesus better and better everyday, by Your enabling grace.

"I hope this song starts a craze, the kind of song that ignites the airwaves."

For a world to be ignited by who You are and all You've done.

Spencer Spag...

It is amazing what a few moments can do to learn a person in such a deeper way.
Today, I had one of those moments with my good friend Spencer.

I am a wholehearted believer that God sets in order our relationships.
God uses friends to build each other and to enrich one another.

When I met Spencer only a few months ago, I never really thought about if we would be friends.
God had other plans in mind.
And today, she is not the girl I met.
I am not even sure I am the girl she met.

She has been an intern for about two months at C3 San Diego.
It has been my honor and my privilege to see her grow leaps and bounds in such a short time.
To see her take steps of obedience that are far from comfortable or easy.
I only see the beauty of Jesus shine through her more and more every day.
I am seeing gifts come alive within her.
And that is inspiring and such a joy to see.

After doing three years of interns myself at another church, knowing the trials and joys of such a decision, I love seeing the success of others along similar journeys.
Mostly because I know how easy it is to quit, or at least want to really bad.
And because I also know the tremendous transformation that lies at the tip of your fingers if you don't give up.

This girl, she loves people, and it is obvious.
She has a keen ability to relate to people, to listen, and to speak.
This girl can preach, and she barely recognizes it.
I could not be more excited to see her discover all those things locked within her, ready to come bursting out of her at any moment.

Today, through a simple "How are you?" text, I feel like we made that transition from 'friends' to 'deep spirited friends'.
Today I saw her come alive in a way I never knew.
And today, her words sparked something new in me.
And I know that she will only continue to ignite that spark within thousands.

Encouragement is the most disregarded treasure.
Yet it is more powerful than ever given credit.
I am blessed to be around people who have learned the power behind it.
The power behind a few simple words, a listening ear, a little time, and a willingness to be real.
Spencer is one of the best.
And today, I saw in her something new.
A little more through the eyes of Jesus.
Her friendship has become invaluable.

I believe in this girl.
In all that God is doing in her.
And in all that He is doing and will do through her.

Every person has a story.
Every person matters.
And this is but a small taste of just one girl who will change the world.
I am lucky enough to walk this life with her.
And I love her deeply.

Is this really my life?

I look around and think, "Is this really my life?"
I am overwhelmed by His goodness.
I am struck by the smudges of His fingertips beautifying my path.
I am surrounded by people who choose to love me.
By people who believe in me.
I am surrounded by people who are marked by the hand of God so profoundly.
Every beautiful story moves within my heart.
I find myself meditating on that scripture "My heart is overflowing with a good theme..."
The Message version puts it like this, "My heart bursts its banks, spilling beauty and goodness..."
And that is my life.
I cannot help but be so proud of the work going on around me.
The way Augusta lead part of a song tonight and you just knew, that wow, she belongs there. An influencer of the stage life. An empowerer.
To see the Tuggle take over begin at Society. That couple, powered together, will touch every community with the love and acceptance of Jesus. Their words of encouragement showing Jesus' kindness leading to repentance. They LIVE that scripture.
To see standing room only as the Holy Spirit moved through every heart.
Kayli, the mouthpiece of a movement who's prayers for others catapult destinies.
Jamie, who's wisdom exceeds them all and who will speak someday. She doesn't even see how her words are weighted and in the simplest of ways, she will transform lives.
Colin, that man and his pastors heart. He can pierce through any stereotype, any hardened heart, and any atmosphere.
Haley. Her music, her worship, her gentle heart and quiet spirit - infectious.
Only a few among the many.

Jesus use me.
Use me as you are using them.
Touch this city, this nation, with Your unfailing love and your unwavering faithfulness.
Lord, You are strong.
You are unbiased and wholehearted.
You show no favoritism and love us all the same.
Your heart yearns for me more than my heart is yearning for You.
My Spirit longs for You and my heart burns to know You more, to be You to others.
And in all that I hunger and all that I thirst, it cannot be compared to what You feel for me.
It is nothing like what You feel for others. For my friends. For the lost.
Thank You.
Even though my thanks could never be enough.
You look at me, at them, and you declare that we are enough for You.
Our value is high above and beyond worth.
Your love, God, it captures me. Captivates me. Humbles me. Drives me to my knees.
I would give it all and give it all again for You, Jesus.

THIS is only the beginning.

Humbled Vessel...

I am an earthen vessel
longing to be cracked open and spilling over.
An agent of change.
A person of influence.
A person to give love and be love.
To speak out and speak up.
I am every dream and every desire awaiting fulfillment.
I am the voice that tells you to keep going
knowing I am glad I never gave up.

I am purpose unfolding.
I am a shovel that is digging.
A heart that is seeking.
I am the knees that are caving.
I am the hands that lift up
and feet that keep walking, running.

I am a poor, broken spirit that somehow shows beauty.
I am a humbled beggar in a robe and a ring I never earned.
I am the picture of unearned grace - a small part in a greater whole and a greater picture.
I am one who knows much yet knows nothing at all.

I am the quiet soul, deep and covered,
that tries to make sense from the corner with a keyboard.
I create from the mind of a Creator.

Although I've made attempts at hiding away,
somehow He always finds me.
He guides me down a narrow path that is more than I would have imagined.
More abundant than I ever dared to hold,
way more than I could have asked for.
Even when my shortcomings show,
a wing of covering shields it away,
and I become a part of Him.

This face you see,
anything you might deem great in me,
it isn't really mine at all.
It is Him.
Every part.
And all the things I hate,
He loves.
All the things that don't belong,
He changes.
He makes all my weakness, meekness.
My pain, peace.
My ordinary, profound.
My good, great.
And in all that, I find myself humbled again.
And again, again, and again.