Looking around I cannot believe what has unfolded around me.
Nothing I ever expected.
In the good and not so comfortable.
I feel restless.
I have the fleeting thought of running away just for a little, but then, I remember the faces of the ones who have already ran.
And now, they're living their hell on earth.
Its sad. To see the broken pieces and cracks make up their bodies. And the glue they use to hold themselves together is nothing more than a lie.
It is useless. All the pieces slide away and the deformities of their actions are shining through. They cannot hide them.
Now, do not take my words in the wrong manner.
My heart breaks for them and I am in a fight for them all.
And as for me, I am not in some terrible season and I am not miserable.
Frustrated, maybe. But not BAD in the way most would often first suspect.
If anything the clarity breaks forth more and more as the days pass.
I am well grounded. Solid. I just have the ability to feel just like everyone else.
In the wake of so many decisions, the pressure is to be expected.
Worse, maybe, is not wondering what to do, but the follow through.
Fear of not being able enough. Not qualified enough. Failure.
Trust.
And talking about those things?... being misunderstood.
Here's to putting everything I can and cannot say into something that can and still cannot speak for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaEQIda0Tds
