Monday, September 23, 2013

What is Grace?

I was just asked to write a paper on what grace, mercy, and forgiveness is and is not for my Nehemiah class.
I found this funny since grace is the very thing God has been teaching me and working in me.
After writing this quick paper, I am not even sure I am the one who wrote it, but the Holy Spirit through me.
I am still in humbled awe of God, His grace, and the words in this assignment.
Here it is:



 Grace is something that is undeserved, unearned, and supernatural. It is a supernatural ability to do what we cannot do on our own - to do our impossible but God’a possible. Grace finds us where we are at but does not leave us where we are. Mercy is grace in action - the very power of grace. Forgiveness is humbling and is merciful. Forgiveness and mercy are the fruits of grace. Grace is both contagious and scandalous. Grace is acceptance without first doing something to receive it. It is like walking through a door and being embraced by a complete stranger as they whisper “I love you,” without ever having known you first.

“To be alive is to be broken and to be broken is to stand in need of grace.”
-Brennan Manning ‘The Ragamuffin Gospel’

Grace is not a finished off checklist, store bought or manufactured, nor is it like the golden star waiting for you after a video game level because you’ve jumped through enough hoops to get there. It is not an incentive but a gift. Grace is not human. Humanity is considerations, sympathies, and tolerance. Grace is heavenly and godly. It was created from nothing by a God who is everything. It surpasses understanding and brotherly love. It is not the love a person can muster within themselves but can only be cultivated by the Holy Spirit inside of you. It is grace itself that even enables you to have grace. Grace does not abandon through any season. It is timeless and always existent and within grasp. It is not based off of human standard but God’s standard towards you. It never ends and knows no bounds. It is by this grace we are saved, forgiven, set free, and made to be.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Dislike...

One thing I hate more than anything - disappointing people.

If anything throws me into full fledged paranoia, this is it.
It starts the downward spiral of questioning everything.
Not even kidding...
Do you they hate my guts?
Will they still love me now?
Do I measure up?
Am I meeting expectation?
Am I now unqualified?

Funny how at the moment that sensitive trauma button is pushed, a person can completely unravel at the seams.
How my understanding of grace is completely thrown out the window.
How every memory of reprimanding, misunderstanding, tearing down, and belittling floods into my conscience.
And in those moments I am frozen in fear.

I hold myself to ridiculous standards.
And when I mess up even slightly, I am ripped apart.
Then when I don't know what to do, I usually rant on some blog post about it...
See what I did there?