When you put your iTunes on shuffle...

i just wrote a whole blog and it deleted...
dangit...

p.s. the song was Trouble Sleeping by The Perishers.
The line from the song that the blog was about was---
"I’m having trouble sleeping
I’m thinking of what you said
About the tears been shed
Leave me"

Just let it go...

Im letting go.
Ill be here when youre back.
I am an adult and I am making good decisions.
Right, God?

Sometimes,

it just works out different than you intended...



Unintended events create an open door for a purpose you dare to live or to make the choice to turn and run away
I chose to take the door and find myself in the midst of chaotic series
Im in the light and on my knees begging for Him to take the pain away
But I guess Ill just have to live with it
After all Im in my own hole I dug so deep my tears are drowning me
I need a heal I need a break I need to get far away
Deal with this consequence and the broken pieces Ive made
Some I believe Ive lost
But there is a Backup and new pieces to be made
I feel dirty and ashamed
I feel guilty and marred
I feel broken and sad
I feel like I lost myself and I blame myself everyday
Im sorry for what Ive done and who Ive come to be
Letting go of all my good and holding onto to everything I use to push away
I lost my conviction and that still small Voice
Im running back searching for it once again
Im trying to hear You
Im crying for You to please save me
No longer wanting to trample on Your blood
Im lost and afraid
Ive fallen and crumple to the floor
Too ashamed to look myself in the mirror
I want to go home
And Im trying to take whoever I can with me
Im sorry I ever let them think it was ok
I wont leave them where I was so I grab their hand and drag them with me
But I cant help them heal until Ive become healed myself
This is a process and Im only at the beginning
Youve been waiting for me...
I wont ever let go
Of you and You
Oh God... here I am... save me.