surrender.
The Lord is teaching me humility.
Humility on a whole new level. Not as in not boasting but a sheer piece of the humility Jesus exercised on the cross.
Being VULNERABLE.
UNCOMFORTABLE.
EMOTIONAL.
Yet, in all this, peace...
Still in pain but in the fullness of peace.
How can it be?
Well, it just is. That is a mystery of God.
Its something I am coming to experience but can barely skim the surface of the answer in words.
Simplicity.
Jesus is ________. So simple.
We on the other hand so, not.
We're complicated. Lets face that truth.
So much so that in attempting to live the "simple life" we become even more complicated. Its a funny thing really.
God, I just love You.
With all my heart and my soul I LOVE YOU.
I love You enough to push through even when its hard.
Spiritual maturity? That is when you press on through trial, imperfection, transition, offense, confusion, and the list goes on. NOT when you run to being comfortable.
Lord, I dont want to become complacent.
I love You through the laughter.
I love You through the tears.
I love You through the ache tearing in my heart.
I love You throught thick and thin.
I love You at my best and my worst.
I love You.
When the waters are steady and I float along I enjoy the company of Your spirit and the intimacy.
When the waters are raging I rest in You and fight. I dont give up. Like Peter I walk on the water towards You.
You are my guidance and my peace.
I trust You.
Even when my flesh panics I walk in the spirit.
Who am I to doubt You?
Was it my hands that were pierced?
Was it my feet?
Was it my side that was pierced?
It was Your blood that covered my transgression and Your living water that purifies my soul that poured from Your side.
It came from within You.
Just as intimacy is within You and I.
You loved us so much that You allowed the blood and water to pour out of You onto us.
Though unworthy, You have made us worthy.
How humbling, Jesus...
You have clothed me with Yourself.
In righteousness. In purity. In love. In faith.
You do not care what I have done!
You care who I will be!
Your grace sustains me!
Not the law!
Jesus!
Your eyes have gazed upon me in MERCY, Jesus!
Undeserved mercy!
But You dont care!
You love me!
You dont have to love me but You do!
Lord, its Your mercy!
How crazy is that?!
I do not understand but that is the beauty of it!
How can I not love You?!
Everything in You is what I want and I need!
It DRAWS me nearer to You!
I LONG to be close to You!
Even more You long to be close to me!
Me...
Little me in all my imperfection.
But what I do doesnt dictate Your love for me.
No matter how many times I fall short of Your glory You STILL LOVE ME!
You grace me WITH Your glory!
I GET to be in Your presence!
How can we become familiar with that?!
Help me to remember!
What a privilege and an honor!
I DESIRE You Jesus!
That no matter WHAT I get to love You and You love me!
The beauty of... You, Jesus.
