Brink...

Time has run out and my spark is dim.
Im losing sight of all I've worked so hard for.
I stand on the brink,
Unable to decipher realism from just a dream.
Decisions to be made and my thoughts are jumbled and scattered as so many opinions are thrown here and there.
Expectations of others I try not to oblige in but only seek to find my own.
Sometimes I wonder if the expectations of myself are not even mine, birthed from my dreams or desires. Or is it just a concoction of everything I feel I am suppose to want?
I must trust in something more than me for I fear I cannot trust in only myself alone.
I live to please others but its no longer time for that.
For who am I that I base my life? Am I truly me or have I lost myself in being good enough? Having to prove myself worthy?
I put my life into a spectrum and see its reflection staring at me, and sometimes I dare say that Ive lost myself. Dont recognize whats suppose to be the definition of me.
Or maybe, in some ways, I feel I dont deserve it.
This is a brink in time.
A brink in my life.
Where do I go from here? And sometimes I hate that I have to make the decisions on where I go because I dont want to make the mistake of going the wrong way.
I have to do go on my own.
Live my life and figure it out.
I just have to be me.
But who am I?
I am: fighting to reveal it. To accept it. To find it out. I am finding myself.
Evaluation of all Ive held onto. All I am.
Wondering what to leave behind and what to grasp ahold of and pursue.
This is my brink.