what?

i had my birthday party. it was fun. but its weird how the littlest things are the ones that made it special.
for one, nick wrote me the sweetest card in the world. i almost cried. hes such a good brother
and two, i saw my best friend. its funny because i see her all of the time but i cherish every moment im with her. i really value her in my life and am so thankful to God for her.
sadly, sadie didnt stay with me long... poo.
and tonight made me realize, i have such great friends.
theyre such a huge part of my life and i love them so much.

i feel so different. i feel something in me changing. i dont know what it is.
its like im seeing through different eyes and feeling things all differently.
i feel like i just want to run down the street screaming or fall to my knees and cry.
and im not even sure all the reasons why i want to. i just do.

i want more of God.
i want stronger relationships with friends.
i want to do something new.
i want to just jump.

what is this i feel stirring inside me?!
i hate not knowing!

one thing i want, is to talk to my best friend. really talk.
i want my Gracey...
i want to hug her and talk to her and cry on her and do something crazy with her.
i hope i get to be with her tomorrow.
i wanna go to the gym then hangout all day and talk and just be. than watch one tree hill.

what is wrong with me right now?
i just wanna.... vbefjbvelfvoefboebv