Cracking Walls...

Ive been standing in this place called life.
And as I looked around me all I saw was chaos.
In the midst of this chaos I reached up my hands and bent to my knees crying out for a faithful God.
I was alone at this moment and I needed a little nudge to lift me up and help me onward.
Suddenly I opened my eyes and I was back at the altar.
I stood myself tired and weary but still I stood.
Then all of a sudden a prayer was answered.

Ive needed a friend.
Someone whos there and I can trust and my age.
I seemed to have lost the ones I onced walked with along the way to the place Im headed to.
I was alone and I realized it.

A new friend has made her way to my side and Im so thankful.
I admit I was scared.
I didnt want to open the door to the inside of the walls in my heart.

"Can I talk to you? Hey, you can trust me. I love you. Can i just pray for you?"

Wow. Thats all I could think of when I heard those words.
I was intimidated and afraid but I opened my mouth and spoke.
I tried so hard not to show my emotions but that look in her eyes broke my heart.
I wonder if thats the look Jesus has in His eyes when He ministered to people.
With such love and trust.
I knew God had placed her there for a reason.
I just needed a friend.
She prayed for me and I just cried. I NEVER cry in public.
It takes some serious Holy Spirit, Presence of God to get me to do that.
And since then she has still been there.
Now thats faithful.
Id know. Its just like me.
I dont see the point in having a relationship with a person if youre not committed and really care. I dont even waste my time.
But this is worth my time.

Gods taking me to new heights.
Redemption has overtaken me.
I fell and it hurt.
But Ive changed and God is entrusting me again.
He broke me to build me and I will not let Him down again.
I am merely human.
And I have been privileged to be there for some people for some very big times in their lives.
And I can handle it. I know what to say. And I have a friend to walk with in my life. And a mentor who is amazing and perfect for me.
I love my life.
Even when it hits me hard sometimes.

So this new friend of mine was sharing her story in Counseling 101 class yesterday.
It was funny because just a couple weeks earlier we were prayer walking together and talked about how nervous we were to do it and how we are and dont necessarily like being 'emotional' haha
She got up on that chair in front of the girls and began to tell her testimony.
And boy did she break me.
As she cried I began to cry with her.
Im so touched by this amazing woman of God.
Im honored to call her friend. And have so much respect for who she is and her story. Shes truly an inspiration and I know she will do many things in the lives of people. She is called to amazing things. And I love seeing her soar to new heights everyday and where God is taking her. Im so proud of her.
I love her so much.

My walls are cracking and crumbling.
And God is so good.
And Hes working in me.
In ways I never imagined.
Testing and trying and I am determined to past the test.
This is what I asked for.
And God is answering.
I love you, God.

I trust you...