Simplicity of You...

WHERE is the simplicity that I once knew?

The simplicity that is writhing in my bones.
That is calling from within me.
The one that I have not even experienced yet.

I am reminded that it is not some map of a place I do not know.
It is not some foreign language that you have to learn.

It is more like a hand that you reach out to hold.
It's like how your heart beats without any personal effort from without.
It is like opening your eyes and looking.

I want to remove everything.
And when I do.
When I force my mind to move away everything, its like my eyes, my heart, and my spirit all connect together and He is there.
I see the face of Jesus.
I see His eyes.
No words needed.
No trying.
No mistakes.
No "accomplishments".
It isn't how much I did or did not pray that day.
Or if and what I did or did not read in my Bible that day.
It was just Jesus and me.

YES.
Praying, my Bible, my words are necessary!
But sometimes, I know that I am too distracted by life and pressure, that I could read my whole Bible and MISS. THE. POINT.
I MISS JESUS.
I miss the very person I am pursuing!

How dare I!
But still! In how much I bully myself for my lack, He doesn't even care.
As soon as I focus my attention He still wants me.
My time. My love.
To give me His!
And again, and again, and again I am completely and utterly humbled!

I am NOTHING.
I am small and weak and bruised.
I fail and I can be selfish.
And even in all my seeking and learning and all that I try and I want to attain it is still nothing compared to the vastness of who God is and what He does!

Sometimes I catch myself thinking in response:
I know this already! I've heard this before.
I've felt that. I've come to that conclusion.
Yeah, I get it.

WHAT?!
No.
Forgive me for thinking in such ways.
Let me hear it again! And again if necessary.
For those words are living and those things are necessary.
And things that are living still and always will have meaning.
Let me be reminded.
Let me not be the one that has those thoughts.
I receive and I will receive again.
In every season.

God, help me to be simple in how I relate to You.
Let me be simple in our relationship.
In how I lead people to You.
Let me not forget Your face.
Let me not forget Your eyes, Your words, Your love.
Do not allow what I learn to fog YOU from me.
I want it all to be about You and for You.
And in not being able to say it enough, I love You.