Here am I...

I read in a book today that scripture that says how the wounds of a friend are faithful but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Those words cannot be any truer.
I think how I have that friend who will let me know when I may be talking about that cute guy just a little too much.
Or that friend who will tell me I really need to forgive that person who has hurt me, even after all of these years.
Or the one who will tell me she knows I'm not ok, no matter how much I say that I am.
How thankful I am for those who are faithful.
And oh, how much do I pray that they would call me faithful too.

I don't always feel like I am the best that I could be.
I sure give it a good try though.

It has been weird lately.
It has been a very lonely road.
It has been like being lost in the darkness of my own self.
I can't get out.
I don't want to be around people as much - not the masses at least.
Nobody can hear me.
Honestly, I don't want anyone to feel like they have to hear.
I want to get out on my own and prove to them all, prove to myself, that I am ok.

I am. I'm ok.

I have been asked what I want. What I need.
I don't know what I need!
I don't want to need!
How could I ask for something when I know I'm not the only one?
I don't want to just be another one.
How could I be so selfish as to need?
But I don't even know.
I don't know what it is.
I'm… lost.

I am checking out.
I am trying to get back in but it's hard.
I'm tired.
I'm depressed.
I'm ok...