Learning How to Die...

That song by Jon Foreman has just opened my eyes
Actually that whole Winter EP has touched me the past couple days and I know still will the next season of my life.

I thought I was learning all these different things. Which I am. But its really hit me how much I really am learning how to die.
Setting aside things that mean so much to me.
Setting aside love that I have.
My heart is stretching but I have never had so much faith in God that everything is going to be ok.
Even when I am alone and afraid and hurting and just cry I know I will be ok.
Even when its hard and I let my emotions out I will be ok.

I thought this was over but something new has just begun.
And that song 'Do you know the way you move Me' has touched me yet again but on a whole other circumstance.
God is so jealous for me. Not for most of me but ALL of me.
He wants ALL of me. All of my heart and mind and strength.
Everything.
He is stretching me.
At times I feel like Im going to break but I hold onto God with all I have within me.
God is all I have.
All I have that sustains.
That never leaves or breaks or changes for the worst.
But its always growing and the love is overwhelming.
He is all I have.
When my world shakes and crumbles and I feel like I dont want to do it anymore
He comes to me.
I feel His love and presence.
I hear the still small Voice.
He says to me 'Just a little longer. I am here. And you can do this. I work ALL things for good in your life. Its all going to be ok.'
And I stay and I linger and I cry out and I read His words and hear His voice and talk to Him and come into His presence.

This is part 1 of a very big journey.
to be continued...