Loud and Quiet...

There is something strange about the silence.
When you feel a sense of loneliness whilst surrounded by a crowd of people.
You feel that distance echo in between you, lost in your own head - your thoughts loud.
So loud yet so… quiet.

What will it be this year?
What does this quietness mean?
It is like the eye of a storm.
Wondering, waiting, for what comes next.

All around me life is moving.
People moving forward.
New and exciting things springing up, one after another.
But for me… I see nothing.
I only feel the anticipation.
When is it my turn?

There are the slight little moments where I think… maybe, just maybe this is it!
Oh. No. Not yet. False alarm.

I am ready to be done with these damn false alarms!

What do I have to do?
Is there even anything?
I don't know…

I will try to fill this ever so loud yet so, so quiet space.

Content.
Content is a choice.
Content is a choice even when you really don't want it.

I will take the quiet.
I will take lonely.
I will take the false alarms.
Eventually, it will all have to end, right?
It will end.