Why does it seem like this?

I feel like im not doing what i should. or what i could.
I feel kinda like my world is being flipped and flopped a little.
Some good, some not so good. Some really confusing.

I wonder sometimes if im a good enough friend.
Or if im missing something and slowly failing into something not so worth it.
I just want to be there for her. Help her.
But nothing i seem to say is doing any good.
Like im being slowly pushed away.
Or maybe its just me i dont know.

I just want to be stable.
In who i am and what im doing.
Being just who i am.
Not looked at like some weed that stumbles to and fro.
I was always told i was like Peter.
Simon-Peter. One day a weed and another time a rock.
How can a person be 2 things so different at the same time?
People are getting sick of it.
But i feel im getting more sick of myself.
Knock it off.
Ive been told that way too many times this week.
Why cant i just listen?!!!

Knock it off, Britt.
This isnt ok anymore.
Its not fun and im disgusted with what Ive been doing.
Disgusted in myself.
I need to just stop.
Why am i like this?!

Just knock it off...